Desperate for God

Recently I have been going through what I can only describe as a dry patch in my relationship with God. I know it is completely normal to have times when you feel more distant from God and I know that it has the effect of making me cry out to God more. Somehow I don't cope well with it though, I hide away, I cry and cry and eventually He comes and comforts me again. Last night as I was sitting on my bed thinking through what goes on inside i wrote this little poem to try and understand how I felt.

How long will you leave me crying,
How long will you leave me alone,
How long can I stand the emptiness,
With my heart returning to stone.

How much do I have to shout for you,
How deep do I have to yearn,
How much can I take and hide away,
Before I begin to learn.

When will the waiting be over,
When will I feel you near,
Why must I sit through the silent times,
Waiting for something to hear.

When will I feel you hold me,
When will my heart be still,
Why don't I seem to understand,
That this is paert of your will.

I guess this is just me being honest with everyone who is reading this. It is ok to struggle and ok to feel alone and I know that my Dad will comfort me soon and show me everything he is teaching me during this time. It is all about trust and it is out of my control. Probably a good thing really!!

wedding wedding wedding!

So it is now only 5 and a half days until my big sister Gill gets married to the lovely John Burns (yes im sucking up, im gonna be related to him soon!) It has been interesting to see how things have been happening so quickly, it seems only yesterday I was saying 5 and a half weeks! My house has gone into chaoes and the weird thing is Gill is never here. She and John have planned everything themselves and are doing a great job of organising, i know i never thought i'd say that about Gill!! Every conversation in my house somehow manages to come round to the wedding, every room has something related to the wedding and my mum is finding things to panic about where there are none!

I am very happy and excited for Gill and John getting married although I am a bit sad as i know i will miss having her around. It is a funny thought to think that your sister will soon be someones wife but a very joyful ocassion too. Please pray for dry weather on sunday!